“Tomorrow you can see Diana’s new piece. I’m dancing in it.” Diana lives next door to my hostess on the getting-better upper West side. She’s a Liturgical Choreographer, whatever that means. Delightful—a free dance performance in Manhattan. On Sunday morning I trudge off on foot through Central Park to the Church where the performance will [...]
We never looked directly at the people who sat down next to us. I thought all these girls must have that same core of loneliness I did, buried under the layers of wool and nylon. I could see it in the smudges of black liner gathered in on that little bulge beneath the outer corner of each eye on the ride home.
That is certainly not something I expected when I wondered what the future would bring on the boat coming to New York. And it’s not what I imagined when Carole asked me if I wanted to move to Texas.
That’s what I learned: you always have to be ready and act fast. I guess I did that with everything that ever happened to me after that time. That’s how I married your father too.
I need to know, how did it go for you? How did you do it? How did you negotiate all the unknowns? How did you discover and tame your feelings? How did you learn to live with sadness and fear? How did you take care of yourself? I want to know with all the intimacy we’ve never had, that I never knew was possible, that you never allowed maybe anyone.
Suddenly Marnie wants to know all about my time in New York. That was such an exciting time. It seems so fast, so busy. It seemed to go one forever, the way time used to be when I was young. I pressed so many years into a short time. I came in ’38 and lived [...]
“Laura was a free spirit. I wasn’t like that; I was very traditional. But Laura could do anything. You’re like her that way. I admired her.” These words were from Madeleine, a friend of my Mom’s from Gimbals’ days, circa 1945. Laura the free spirit: I had never thought of her this way. I knew [...]
I could see there were islands of moments, spaces, commerce and friendliness in that unrelenting march forward. These islands might permit a question. They might yield an answer, and we might correct course, relax a bit, even smile—foreign as that may seem. Once we had that map, we knew how to ask. We were lost with purpose.