…waiting for her at breakfast, all that old anxiety fills my eyes and chest and breath; she feels like a limb again.
I knew graduation was supposed to be a life event for my daughter—the graduate—but I hadn’t reckoned on it being a life event for me: me—the woman old enough to have a daughter graduating from college; my home—the default place to be; my picture of the world—oh it still might appear on the agenda occasionally [...]
“Now, if she were a cow, I’d stick my arm up her vagina and feel around in there…” I pictured a large gentle man with his arm in a cow, up to his elbow. I had a scale problem.
Yes, this is the astonishing thing—or is it one of those “astonishing things” that is perfectly apparent and mundane? Perhaps the amount one considers family members in daily life is in inverse proportion to the amount of family one regularly sees.
The start of the year seemed like a good time to revisit Blessings. What’s important? Who’s important? All the big questions sneak up on us this time of year.
For most of us who sign up, Motherhood is the biggest, most wonderful, most frustrating and demanding job we ever do. It is exceptional and ordinary, divine and accursed. And you never look at your mother the same way after you’ve gone there. I’m pretty sure it’s way bigger than I yet know.