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I am my Mother and Father

We will not cast people out for their choices in lip color, hosiery, language, religion, or the lack thereof. We will try to be “with it,” but not too with it—if you know what I mean.

Remember and rediscover

Today I mostly take care of my memories of Dad and Mom. I find the bit of understanding—the fond memory and the noble act—and I embrace it in the tale told. It can be a quiet, private thing. Sometimes I’ve made it a public thing, splashing it across my website and my stages. Is this what the commandment means? Remember, rediscover and perpetuate?

The Avalanche of Loneliness

[T]he pavement ices with brittle opposites. I need structure; I admire spontaneity. I hate man-made boxes, yet I notice that I’m putting finishing touches on a few just now. Anything goes? Nothing endures. I’m no longer young enough to try everything, but I’m old enough to try anything.

Time to move Mom

In Ephemory, Ruth is helping her Mother, Carole, pack her apartment for a move to the assisted living facility. Handling her memorabilia triggers the memories that Ruth is longing for. What precedes the decision to move Mom?

Ephemory

Each time we take out a memory it is put away changed, no matter how clean our fingers are. We never wash off those precious oils of life: context; the new person we’ve become or the qualities we’ve dismissed; our new audience or no audience. Each time the memory is slightly different. Each time the rememberer is slightly different.

Ruth remembers

I wasn’t at all sure of getting the rules right and (I) relegated myself to a subordinate tier in some popularity system that I sensed and continued to apply to all situations in my life. As uncomfortable as I might have been at school, I treasured my time away from home.

Living in the Moment

“That passive nice-little-old-lady who sits around the dining room all spaced out—that’s someone I never met before. That difficult woman you call me about—that’s the last shred of my Mother.”

Mortality Smacks

[W]hen I leave my routines behind for travel or some other demand on my time, I miss them. Routines are like botulinum; they can kill, but just a little bit smooths away the harshness of everyday.