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Post 1 New Series on Online Dating: the 2014 edition

like-a-hole-in-my-headAs a serial online dater I’ve learned to recognize the open-mouthed flakiness, announced kinkiness, ferocity, moodiness, unreliability, poor judgment, narcissism and financial disastrophy of prospective dates as gifts to me. Should I be angered by the man with the fun-loving, gentle profile when he happens to call an hour before our appointed coffee date to tell me he just found out he has a conflicting appointment scheduled at work? Not newly scheduled—it’s been there. He didn’t bother to know his schedule until just now.

No dear heart. This is not a bad thing, although I squeezed my morning into a schedule that would suit his work location and availability. No–be grateful.

Grateful? Because this fellow who sounded so suitable follows so many down the drain of not-worth-the-cost-of-a-double latte?

Yes of course. I didn’t have to brave the bridge, pay for downtown parking, avoid those crazy humans throwing themselves in the path of my car. I didn’t need to have another overpriced cup of joe that would wrack out my gut this morning. And no, I didn’t have to labor even an extra 10 minutes thinking that this man, so right in electronic profile, had anything to add to my wonderful life.

Really? How could a person bomb out so badly from a phone call? At least he didn’t stand me up.

That’s true. And people have. And that too is good insight, although more annoying. So he didn’t stand me up. He also didn’t bother to equip himself to say my name on the phone or to know enough to introduce himself when I answered. He didn’t sound all that sorry that he wasn’t going to be able to meet with me, own the mistake nor suggest we meet instead at another time in a place that might be more convenient to me. Nor did he manage to sound like a person who could follow a calendar or show up reliably for any manner of engagement. And this last quality is never going to allow any other good qualities to shine through. Really.Thought about it and, nope, that’s a must.

Of course, maybe he met the love of his life just the day before and was simply looking for an excuse to cancel. I’ve done that (minus the love of my life part.) I think I’ve always mustered a little more energy than the dead for such encounters. I hope so and will strive to in the future. In the meantime, good luck to her. There’s plenty of call for men with barely a pulse if they also have a job and can empty a dishwasher. (Ok, I’m really going out on a limb with that dishwasher thing.) In fact, that’s probably enough for 3 and half stars already. All hail.

For more thoughts on online-dating and Love by email
This, like all activities, evolves. Or is it devolves. Or can we even know?