SCENE 1: Shelley becomes exasperated when Dr. Dopfelganger expects her to remember her emotions. “A lot of life is just crossing things off my list.” She sings The List Song. Together, they sing The Calendar Song, recounting a number of recent events and resultant feelings. We learn that Shelley’s best friend from college, Laine, will visit and Shelley’s husband Tom is away. Dr. D. sends Shelley off with a calendar to help her keep track of her emotions for the month. Shelley uses this prop throughout the next scenes.
SCENE 2: Laine arrives and the two women reconnect easily. They reminisce, singing The Best Years of Our Lives. As they revisit their college and early career days together they realize the current times are the best years of their lives. They retrace the birth of Laine’s daughter and her failed marriage as Laine was trying to establish her career. Laine sings Off the Track about stepping off the anticipated career track in accounting.
Shelley reveals that she’s in marital therapy with husband Tom and things don’t look good. Shelley sings Why Am I Lonely. Laine counsels Shelley to face up to what she needs—The Only Way Out is Through. They sing Dissolution together. By the end of this song Shelley is convinced that her marriage is over—she’s going to be an “ex.”
SCENE 3: Laine and Shelley take turns recounting some of the X’s in their life in short alternating monologues, straight out to the audience. They return to a discussion about relationship frustrations and this boils over into The X Song—a rock anthem.
SCENE 4: Laine is finally emboldened to share her big secret: she’s just been laid off. Shelley and Laine probe the difficulty of talking about issues that are tender and uncertain. Laine sums up her feelings in a Reprise of Off the Track—the Pink Slip. Laine proposes they go into business together. They whirl themselves into a business naming natural disasters and sing The Disaster Song.
SCENE 5: In Disaster Central stress builds and tempers fray. Shelley and Laine love it when their work hits the CNN crawl but they don’t like being second guessed or taken for granted. As they contemplate a fantasy trip to the Emmy’s, they sing The Disaster Song Reprise, and get the worksite props off stage. They talk about “new” relationships, namely Laine’s ex-husband’s new relationship with a woman who is Almost Normal—a good thing— followed by The Disease Song recounting the health problems that seem so rampant. It’s time to get through, clean out and enjoy life, so they sing The Clean Out Song together.
SCENE 6: When Shelley returns to Dr. Dopfelganger’s, her completed calendar in tow, she announces her readiness to divorce. She’s self-possessed and doesn’t have a lot of use for Dr. D’s professional tricks in the Reprise of The Calendar Song. Dr. D. goes for a new idea—Finale Therapy. Laine sings a couple of verses with Shelley and becomes Dr. D again to dispense advice to Shelley. When Shelley has had enough advice and has the confidence to assert her own beliefs Laine joins her in a showy costume for the big finish.
The script, music and lyrics were written by Miriam Feder, who retains the copyright and all other
rights in the material. Permission for production is available by arrangement with Miriam Feder.