Miriam Feder

I studied which sweater you’d like,
what’s for breakfast, when to ask and not.
Important lessons never right enough.
I was eliminated from the next round.

You’re filled too, if you paid attention.
Note: Ritter chocolate, Asiatic lilies.
Should we discard streaky windows
or recycle them for a new heart?

I studied which sweater you’d like,
what’s for breakfast, when to ask and not.

Pity the next ones stirring rubble.
I’m tired and despairing of a whole-heart love.
Who would sort my scabs and scars?
Could I open bones filled with secrets?

All that energy scibbered away.
It sprung me: toss it in or let it out?
Maybe I could have spent it better
making something to hold onto…a nice pot.

I studied which sweater you’d like,
what’s for breakfast, when to ask and not.

Opportunity—what about those misses.
Don’t say “each love is a classroom …
You’ll get there when you’re ready.”
Whatever could that look like?

Love—soured, spat out and washed away,
beats safety, footing and progress.
Messy windows, crusty scabs, fossil-habits
stumble broken hearts along.

I studied which sweater you’d like.

A scary tale for Hallowe’en: obsession; self-destruction; deterioration; and divorce

I’m a mad dog, a terrible creature who will be miserable my entire life through until a shell pierces my skull. She doesn’t like me. She’d just as soon see me dead. Mostly she’d like her ankle back.

I don’t know exactly why I bit her ankle. I hate ladies—I hate this lady: hate; hate; hate her. But I love having her ankle in my mouth. I’m so used to having this ankle in my mouth. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t bite it anymore.  Would life be as sweet?  Would I have all those fantasies again about ankles?
Would I feel lonely? Would I long to have my mouth fill with her blood?

Do I even like blood?  I don’t know–I’m a dog. I’m bred to hang on, so I do.

She was nice to me, once. She fed me, scratched my ear, but then I ran away.  When I came back she said that she was “really quite allergic.”  She felt better without me. But that’s not gonna work with me.  NOBODY stops scratching my ears. I’ll bite.  That’s all there is to it. I’ll show her.

She’s wondering how she can get rid of me. But she can’t. She can’t cut off her foot.  That’s not really a solution. I don’t think she’ll go for the old silver bullet. I mean she could wind up worse off than me.  She thinks I’ll get tired and fall off, or maybe I’ll get hungry, or distracted.

What if we pass a really good Bar B Que? Oooo that smell…that smell might get me.

Oh look, a ball–a kid with a ball. I could only go for that ball.

(starts chuckling) She is so frustrated; trapped by a dog this way.  She really cannot believe this is happening to her. She’s busy. I know cause she keep saying that to me after she stops screaming.
And she’s bleeding. Her strength is bleeding away. Yeah, right in my mouth.

She screams out  ”Won’t someone please shoot this dog?  Please, if I circle back around the block one more time, will you please have your gun ready and try to shoot the dog?  Shoot the damn dog and don’t shoot me? Please.”

But she is panting so hard, nobody understands her. Just like a dog.

 

 Mad Dog: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (108)

I imagined talking to my former lover’s new squeeze.  How frustrating that she was so worried about all the wrong things and missing the best he had to offer.  If only I could tell her…but of course, no.

Also in print

 

 Making a Lover [1:38m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (74)

How a business encounter can turn into a deep revelation in one small comment.

 

 Dog Hair in My Coat: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (119)

The start of the year seemed like a good time to revisit Blessings. What’s important? Who’s important?  All the big questions sneak up on us this time of year.

 

 Blessings [4:18m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (61)

Well coming into the Holiday buying season I always remember the appliance years–first apartments and all– and my tribute to the last appliance-gift I received.  It’s a beauty–and it’s season is coming so I thought I’d revisit it.

 

 What an Appliance: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (101)

In Print

I’ve always had an active Fantasy life.  In love you’ve gotta have it.  But, moderation in all things, I suppose.

 

 Fantasy: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (133)

Can you go back into a relationship? Can you process out of a relationship? Maybe–maybe not. Doing anything constructive with love seems to be a bit dicey, but worth the try…These are 2 short Haikus–Love Retroactive and Love Lost, but not Forgotten, from About Love:the bittersweet heart, debutting February 22 in Portland.

 

 Love that Was: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (127)

It’s rejuvenating to remember the common and uncommon blessings we enjoy each day. It’s expansive to offer recognition to those we embrace in our field of plenty. But we might find an even greater share of peace by offering some recognition to those who often stir our less attractive emotions. Sharing a moment of contemplation in a season ripe for it.

 

 Blessings: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (106)